I had a follow-up appointment with my doctor yesterday. It has been 9 months since I was sobbing in her office because I was tired of fighting with my mind.
Now, as time passes, I remember less and less about the broken woman that I was.
Everyone feels anxiety – that’s just life. And it’s not always bad. I mean, if we didn’t feel anxiety we’d probably live far more risky lives. And how often have your butterflies helped you excel at a something? Shout out to adrenaline.
But the debilitating fear – the fear that was keeping me from living my life – that is gone.
I’ve become more confident, which has helped me in every aspect of life. It makes it easier to do my job, to do well in school, and to take care of my family.
And I’m literally wearing my newfound happiness.
I’ve gained around 15 pounds since February. And while it may sound ridiculous, being too skinny is something I’ve always struggled with. So, this happy weight is a welcome addition.
My doctor even told me to stop at like 10 more pounds. Friends, I NEVER thought I’d hear my doctor say I’ve almost gained TOO MUCH weight.
We also talked about the possibility of weaning down my Zoloft in a few months – or not. She says whatever I decide is okay. And while I may not need medication to feel better forever, right now I do. I’m going to keep doing what’s working.
It’s small victories like these that I’m celebrating in my mental health journey. Being happy. Being healthy. And continuing to feel better.
Thinking back on how different my life was nine months ago, I would say this: You have to do what’s best for you. Don’t worry about what people think. It’s your health, your mind, and your life. And taking charge of my mental health is one of the best things I could have done.