I recently found myself upstairs, sitting on my bedroom floor crying over a Hot Pocket. And this was not a little cry; I was full-on bawling. Now, I say I was crying over a Hot Pocket. But the Hot Pocket really just accelerated the fuse that was already slowly burning.
Have you ever thought about something all day you have at home to eat? Like, you really set your mouth, appetite and mind on eating it. Then, you finally get home, change into your pajamas, only to discover someone already ATE IT!?
I had actually cooked a “real” dinner. But, as always, in the midst of eating I was also tending to everyone else’s needs. By the time everyone was done with me, my poor little half-eaten plate was ice cold and stiff, and I lost my appetite.
Once my kids were in bed, I sat on the couch and realized if I didn’t eat I’d probably be hungry during the night or I’d have hunger pains from hell in the morning. Then I remembered there was a Hot Pocket in the freezer. Minimal effort! Just enough food to satisfy hunger! Well, when I went and looked in the freezer…it was gone.
That’s when all the stress, anxiety, sadness, frustration, sacrifice and exhaustion that had been building up inside of me day after day quite literally exploded out of me.
I went upstairs and into my bedroom. I closed all the doors to create the thickest sound barrier I could between my children’s bedrooms and my own. I sat in the space between my two bedroom closets, and a mournful wail poured from my lips. I let it all out. I cried…hard.
Then the tears began to dry up. And my muscles loosened. And my wailing quieted. And I felt a million pounds lighter. And while I felt better, I realized that I was allowing myself to get way too overwhelmed. So I have promised to dedicate one thing each day to self-care, whether it’s reading a funny book, or listening to a favorite podcast, or soaking in a hot bath.
I also realize many of you may be feeling the same way sometimes, because let’s face it, life is hard. So I’ve decided to spread the wealth. Here are some of the things that are getting me through the week:
What I’m listening to:
Heben Negatu and Tracy Clayton are the hosts of BuzzFeed’s Another Round podcast. This podcast has been seriously essential for me. They talk about everything ranging from race to gender to pop culture to SELF-CARE – and they are hilarious. I save this podcast for my commute, and they have helped me through many I-94 traffic jams. They also have a newsletter I highly recommend subscribing to here. You can subscribe to Another Round on iTunes or Acast. Do it, you’ll thank me. And you can start here with one of my fave episodes about putting your own mask on first:
What I’m watching:
Baby humans. Baby animals. You put pretty much any species of baby into a video and it gives me the feels. I actually saw this video a few weeks ago about a baby experiencing rainfall. If you like the feeling of your heart melting, check it out:
What I’m reading:
I just started reading “You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have To Explain” by Phoebe Robinson for an online book club I’m in. Robinson co-hosts another one of my podcast recommendations, “2 Dope Queens,” along with Jessica Williams. Since I haven’t finished it yet, I can’t tell you whether I love it. But I can tell you the first couple of chapters have been funny, candid and relatable. If you are looking for a lighthearted, easy read then I’d say buy the book or listen to it on Audible.
Those are a few of the things I’ve found joy in this week. What’s getting you through your week? Drop a comment!