I’m sitting at a small corner table in Panera Bread alone – just me, my computer and a spicy Thai chicken salad. My husband and kids are off on an adventure of their own, so I decided to come grab lunch and do some writing.
There was a time not too long ago when I wouldn’t have been able to do what I’m doing right now. A time where I felt weird going somewhere and grabbing a “table for one.” I used to worry about looking awkward or lonely.
But I have been delivered. I have learned the power of the dating me. I have learned the peace that comes with going to a restaurant, grabbing a table near an outlet and enjoying a meal all by myself. The convenience of not waiting on anyone else to go with me. And the feeling of being recharged when it’s over.
I’m not cutting up anyone’s food. Or cleaning up anyone’s spilled water. Or listening to anyone’s long stories. And while I don’t mind doing those things, being able to eat and digest my food once in a while is peaceful.
There are huge benefits to dating yourself. I mean, when you are dating someone else you get to know them on a deeper level and learn things about them – their likes and dislikes, passions and beliefs.
It’s the same with yourself. If you never take quiet time out with you, how can you learn about the person you are or want to be? And there are other benefits, according to eHarmony:
- Dating yourself gets you out of your comfort zone and into healthy risk-taking mode, especially if you tend to stay away from going out of your home solo or resist doing activities without the company of someone else.
- Dating yourself reinforces the idea that love and happiness start within, teaching you to look within for the support, encouragement and love that you naturally crave. This puts less pressure on potential partners to be responsible for your happiness and health.
- Dating yourself increases your self-esteem and worthiness as you actively value and care for yourself. It shows you that you are deserving of great care and attention and helps you expect that (in a healthy way) from your future partner(s).
- Dating yourself gives you the opportunity to get to know who you are in a deeper way, bringing you insight about what is really important to you. This knowledge is vital to partner selection, attraction and maintaining healthy relationships with others.
- Dating yourself teaches you to enjoy alone time and how to be independent, furthering the health of your present and future relationships and tying into the healthy balance of separateness and togetherness in relationships. It allows you to be happy with and without a partner.
Still not sold? I recommend starting with something really simple, like going to have coffee alone.You can even bring your computer to make yourself look busy.
And when you’re ready to move on to other things, check out this list of dates to take yourself on from Shape Magazine.
Do you have experience dating yourself? Is it something you’re willing to try? Drop a comment!