I just wanted to share a quick thought.
I have been feeling really good for the past few days.
It isn’t something I thought about or noticed until I woke up this morning. I’ve been busy but not stressed. My schedule has been packed but I haven’t felt overwhelmed. I’ve been anxious but not distressed.
That is huge for me, especially considering just a couple of months ago my mental health was rapidly deteriorating.
But for the past few days, I’ve felt almost…normal. Or what I assume is normal because I don’t think I’ve ever really felt it.
I’m enjoying the fact that I can now say my good and bad days seem to be balancing out. But at the same time it makes me nervous.
Whenever I have a succession of good days, I can’t help but worry that a bad day is lurking somewhere near me. That my anxiety is waiting for me to let my guard down so it can sneak up behind me and push me into the hole that I’m constantly clawing my way out of.
And that honestly kinda takes something away from the good days.
You see, I know that’s just my anxiety trying to maintain control. I know it wants me to be aware that it’s never too far away and I’m always in a fight to overcome it. It likes to keep one hand on my shoulder.
And I can’t let that happen.
So I’m trying to embrace my good days. Fill them with happy thoughts. And to only worry about those bad days when they arrive – which I know they occasionally will.
I’m determined to gain control of my anxiety. And as hard as it’s willing to fight me to stick around, I’m willing to fight 100 times harder.
How do you embrace the good days without worrying about the bad ones?