I’m almost 30. Why don’t I have it all figured out?

Every year around this time, my social media feeds fill up with photos of kids headed to prom or graduation. I see the smiling faces of proud parents and young adults living in what are essentially their last moments of childhood.

And every year I nostalgically think back to my own senior year of high school. Those kids remind me so much of myself. They have the whole world in front of them and likely have plans for what they want to do with it.

Then I snap back to my own reality. I realize that it’s been 12 years since I graduated high school. I realize that I am turning 30 years old in five months. And I realize that I still don’t have this whole adult thing figured out.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been sitting still for the last 12 years. I’ve gone to college (and dropped out a couple of times). I got an associates degree. I’ve worked jobs I hated and some that I didn’t mind so much. I married the man I love and I’ve even brought a couple humans into the world.

Really eventful stuff.

But am I where I thought I’d be when I walked out of my high school for the last time in  2005? Absolutely not. I, like many of those students, had plans. But then life happened and plans changed. Well, more like went out the window.

I have a career that I love, but there are other things I aspire to do. I’m living in a state where I despise the weather eight months out of the year. And some days I don’t even know who I am as a person or where I fit in the world.

I’m not the same person I was 12 years ago. I don’t even feel the same as I did five years ago. As I get older, I’m constantly growing and evolving. I gain new skills. I find new hobbies. I dream new dreams. I make new plans. I set new goals.

I’m almost 30 years old and I don’t have it all figured out. And that’s okay.

I’m learning that not knowing exactly what I want to do is completely fine. I don’t want to waste time comparing anyone else’s achievements to my own. I’m sure there are many people who held strictly to their plans for their life but find themselves miserable.

Uncertainty can be stressful, but I feel like it’s more important for me to enjoy the journey. So that’s what I plan to do. I’ll figure it all one day…but if not, I’ll have fun along the way.

 

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