I definitely haven’t been dedicating much time and energy to my blog lately.
It’s not because I haven’t wanted to. I’ve just been so busy with work that when I get off in the evening or have a day off I’m either catching up on things around the house or trying to rest.
I’ve also been trying to make up for the time with my kids I miss out on when I’m working. I always carry a certain amount of guilt as a working mom, but it seems to get so much worse in the summer.
I love my children. And I also love my career. I’ve worked for the majority of both of my kids’ lives. It’s all that they know and it’s something that they’re used to. Even when they’re out of school for the summer they know mom still has to leave – some days before they’re even awake – and won’t be back home until almost dinner time.
But it doesn’t make it much easier.
The guilt strikes when I’m sitting at my work desk scrolling through social media. Seeing other families’ summer adventures. Trips to the park. Vacations out of town. Hanging out at home.
The feeling surfaces when there’s an event that I’d love to take them to but I can’t because I have to work that day.
I feel it when the weather is great all week and then when I’m finally off on the weekend it’s rainy and dreary and we’re stuck inside.
Then there are the days where I am off…and the weather is good…and we do get a chance to enjoy a summer day…but I’m so tired that I can barely stand to think about a day of activity.
These are the times where I wonder how me being a working mom is affecting my kids. I know I’m not damaging them. Research shows kids with working parents fare just as well as those whose stay at home.
But am I ruining their summers? When they grow up will the only stories they have to tell be ones that involve sitting around waiting for their parents to get home in the evening? Or dealing with their tired cranky mom on her day off?
Summers were so different when I was a kid. They were filled with long days playing outside. We couldn’t afford trips, but just having my mom home every day, I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything.
I know my own kids’ lives are much different than my own childhood was. But I try to remind myself that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Their childhood is also I lot better in many ways than mine was.
So I’ll continue to do what I feel is best for my family. I’ll try to remind myself to make the most of the time I do spend at home. And I’ll try to let go of my mom guilt.
If you find yourself experiencing mom guilt, I hope you do the same.
Now excuse me while I go play circus with my girls.