Complicated

My Mind and I
We have a complicated relationship.

I love the way we
weavetogetherwords
creating worlds.
Writing ourself into
infinite lives.

How it recalls my dearest memories.
My favorite food.
My best friends.
Some of my best choices.
Many of my worst mistakes.

I love how it talks my
heart
out of doing dumb things.
Reminding it what happened
before.

My Mind and I
We have a complicated relationship.

I hate the way it
taunts me.
You’ll fail.
They’ll leave you.
You’re nothing.
Unreasonable worst-case scenarios.

The way it forces me to replay
that one time
I was at that one place
and said that one
(stupid)
(stupid)
(stupid)
thing.

I hate how it convinces me that
people I don’t even know
are sitting down for dinner
talking about how they saw me trip while walking.

My Mind and I
We have a complicated relationship.

I love how it makes me feel
beautiful
confident
and like I can conquer
the entire world.

All the while stealing from me.
My peace.
My calm.
My sanity.

My mind is
beauty and agony
shadows and light
calm and chaos
nightmares and sweet dreams.

I’ve considered ending things between
My Mind and I.
But I could never leave
my mind
for another

Why?

It’s Complicated.

 

Check out more of my creative writing on my site: http://www.musingsofablackgirl.com ❤️

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