Hey! Hello! Wow, it has been quite a while since I posted on this blog.
In recent months my focus has kinda shifted. I love sharing my stories with you all and being open with my struggles with anxiety and depression. But to be honest, I became slightly discouraged by how few people actually read or were receptive to my posts.
Once I started focusing more on making funny videos and posting funny memes, I realized it was a more effective way to get peoples’ attention and build my audience. So, I not only put all the “serious stuff” in the backseat…I sort of kicked it out the car altogether.
But I’ve been thinking about those of you who do faithfully follow, read and share. Those who have found encouragement through any of my posts. And those who consider the community I was building to be a safe space.
I realized you mean more than analytics, and you are who I need to continue on for.
So…if you’ve followed me from early on you’ll remember I’ve been working towards improving my mental health since about February 2017. That’s when I first went to my doctor with my concerns about anxiety and depression and started taking Zoloft.
But where does my mental health journey stand today?
Ya’ll…I truly underestimated how much work maintaining your mental health can be. You can see therapists, you can take medication. And while those things certainly help, they are not a cure.
I’ve struggled this year. My divorce was finalized in July. And while I am happy to be out of that relationship, the stress of suddenly becoming a single mom put me into a depression that involved not enough self-care and way too much wine.
I feel as if I’m only now making my way out of a fog that I’ve spent most of this year attempting to navigate through. But there are still days that I struggle to do something as simple as getting out of bed.
I’ve realized how much I need to get myself together. My kids suffer when I’m unhappy and stressed. My goals suffer when I’m depressed. I suffer when I’m anxious about things I can’t control.
There have been days where I haven’t even wanted to wake up. But how lucky – how blessed am I – to wake up and have another chance to find my joy?
This last quarter of the year is going to involve some changes. I don’t know exactly what those are yet. I don’t know what I need to add or eliminate. But while 2018 has been about breaking, 2019 will be about building.
And I’m going to get back to blogging and speaking. I won’t over-promise on how consistent I’ll be just yet…but I’m committed to it.
Take this from me…don’t underestimate the power in taking time to step back and figure your shit out.